Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
is wine microwaveable?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
