Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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