I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
