Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
