Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
