I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
