I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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