Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My life is pants optional.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
