sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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