How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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