My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
