You smell like a Billy Joel song
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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