Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
