Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
