Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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