Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
