Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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