She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
