Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
