yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
