How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
