the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
