he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
