I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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