I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
