no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
