Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
