Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
50% drunk capacity currently
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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