I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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