Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
