I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This baby is an asshole
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
