Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
