Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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