You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
