there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize
