So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
