I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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