Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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