Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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