Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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