sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
