Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
