I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
