imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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