obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
