I accidentally burped into my bong.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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