She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
