people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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