i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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