Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
