so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
