I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
