Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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