After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
