And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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