I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize