He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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