Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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