What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
